Database expert runs Doom in SQL with just 5,900 lines of code

It's the year of two thousand and twenty-six, and "Running Doom on X" is still probably the most popular software hacking hobby. From pregnancy tests to space satellites, the 1993 game has been ported to pretty much anything under the sun that has a CPU and some memory in it. Now it's time to run the game in a database, in this case CedarDB, courtesy of the SQLDoom project by Lukas Vogel, who previously authored DoomQL.

If you're wondering how the heck one runs a game in SQL, it's actually much easier than you imagine, so long as you think like a database architect. The actual frontend displaying the graphics, playing sound, and taking inputs is in Python, but that part acts only like a PC's peripherals — all the math is done inside the database.

The backend is written for the performance-focused, Postgres-compatible RDBMS CedarDB. …